Journey to TTC

Robbi latadzarni wa anta khoirul warisin“ (an biya ; 89)

Ya Allah janganlah Engkau membiarkan aku hidup seorang diri, sesungguhnya engkau pemberi waris yang paling baik.

Robbi habli miladunka dzuriyattan, thoyibatan innaka sami’ud du’a“ (ali imran;38)
Ya Tuhan berilah aku seorang anak yang baik dari sisiMu, sesungguhnya Engkau maha pendengar Doa.

Daisypath - Anniversary

Ahad, 22 Jun 2014

Things you shouldn't say to childless women

Like always, attending any occasion - weeding, kenduri or even hari raya, we meet so many people who just said something they shouldn't say to a childless women like me. 
It hurts deep inside me just to answer your endless question - 'when are  you going to have one?' or 'still no child?'. It hurts just to say 'not yet' or just simply to smile and hope you all understand - with some of your manner (that might hurt us just a bit more). 
Please...Please to parents out there. Please understand us at least a bit. 
We are begging you please dont say all of these ever. 

1. When are you going to have kids?
Expect this question to start the minute you get married and it comes from your parents, your hairdresser, the guy at the deli, and your cousin who has three hundred children. It's really no one's business, right? 
2. Are you having trouble conceiving?
Is your man shooting blanks? Have you went to any check up, mengurut or bla bla? Would you EVER say that to someone? If not, then don't ask if someone is having trouble conceiving.
3. You have pets, right? It's kind of the same.
Demeaning. Not same at all.
4. You are so lucky not to have kids yet. You can enjoy freely, honeymoon whenever you want, get up late and financially free. 
Like that are correct. 
5. Oh, you wouldn't understand. It's more of a parent thing.
The parent club. People who say this make it all the more exciting to be a part of their clan someday. They are just keep babling about their child milk, about the pampers, the expensive clothes and toys and allergic or how the baby will make them not enough sleep. 
6. If you can't have them naturally, you know you can always adopt.
Stating the obvious = not necessary. You just dont know how it might hurt someone. Its not that easy as you think.
7. Is it that you are just worried about what pregnancy would do to your body? The stretch marks are so ugly. 
You know who says this kind of thing? Jealous people. People who are jealous of what you look like. If you hear these words though, it makes you feel like the person saying them to you thinks you are too shallow to have kids.
8. See what you have to look forward to? *When a parent is trying to calm a crying baby.*
This kind of comment makes you want to say, Actually, yes, I am looking forward to that. I want to be a mom.
9. Your life will never be the same. NEVER.
The person who says this to you is clearly miserable and may even long for their own childless days too much.

I'd like an untidy house, with no free time, not enough sleep and exhausted at the end of the day. 
In exchange for hearing the word 'mak/mom/mama/ummi/ibu'...
to able to hug/kiss someone from my own, to claim they are yours, to able sleep together with them, feed them, raise them...
to just FEEL what you are feeling....
oh just dont understand... :(

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